Above the Seige, Under Law, Out for Death, Marked for Justice ...
The other week we went out to the movies at the big Mall of the Emirates. It very much like any standard American cineplex, until you see the movies that are playing there.
There's a good smattering of American movies, don't get me wrong. But then they throw in a Indian Bollywood musical, or some odd British film, or other international fair.
And that's something I hadn't thought about yet ... we're in international territory.
And you know who rules the international box office?
Steven Seagal
... or, at least that's what we're told in America, because Steve Seagal is constantly making movies that never end up in the theater. In fact, I think his last twenty movies have gone direct-to-video in the US, but they always say, "he's huge in the international market".
Right now in Dubai Today You Die is playing. This direct-to-DVD dud has been on sale for the last year in the States.
I don't know anything about this movie except what I read on the internet. And some of it, really, is worth sharing.
Here's the offical line: "After one of the most extraordinary chase scenes ever filmed on the streets of Vegas, Banks ends up in prison. But with a little mystical assistance, he escapes to unleash an explosive, unearthly vengeance."
"Segall [sic] mumbles alot in this flick. Movie is disjointed and makes no sense. Characters are introduced that have no connection to the story. Segall [sic] stunt double is pretty good."
"With the film's excessive use of stock footage from other direct-to-DVD films, overly obvious use of a stunt double for Seagal (even in situations where no stunts are involved), horrible editing, and a completely nonsensical and confusing plot 'Today You Die' is easily Seagal's laziest film to date."
